TRADE-OFFS

I finally got notification that both of the stories I submitted to the Story Circle Network's Anthology are going to be published in the online overflow section of the anthology, not the actual print version. I'm pretty disappointed that at least one of them didn't make it in. Hell, let's be honest here. I'm actually disappointed that no one has discovered this obscure little blog of mine and offered me a newspaper column or book deal yet! How sad is that?

When I was reading the advance copy of Jeannie Ralston's The Unlikely Lavender Queen, I felt twinges of envy, knowing that she's about to have a best seller under her belt, and she's probably 10 years younger than me. Of course, I just started writing semi-seriously a few months ago, and she's been honing her craft her entire life, making sacrifices and taking chances. Still....

I suppose that's my perpetual modus operandi - wanting to be good at something right from the start, without having to suffer through the learning curve or pay any dues. Wanting it to be fun, easy, and ego-lifting, not hard and humiliating. The question now is, will I bail out after one too many rejection notice, or will I be able to break from form and stay the course? Time will tell.

I read a couple of reviews recently, about books done by one of my favorite self-help authors, Julia Cameron. I was reminded that there are several things I've let slide lately: writing my morning pages, meditative walks, artist's dates. I was inspired to knuckle down, make these routine, and add one more goal to my list - producing three pages of work each day, on whatever my current project might be. If I can make these things a regular part of my life, then I can grow as a writer. That's the good news.

The bad news is, I discovered that, though she has helped millions of others unlock their creativity, and has herself been one of the most prolific writers out there, Julia's own path has not been easy. Like so many others who create, she has battled with alcoholism and depression for most of her career, and has suffered several breakdowns. It makes me wonder, do these two have to go hand in hand, creation and agony? Must I trade in my wonderfully sane and happy life, if I want to produce something worthy of admiration? Would I even consider it? Not on your life.