DENTAL DISGUST

I am not a fan of dentists. Never have been. Could be because, when I was a child back in the 50's, my parents were not familiar with the term "preventive dentistry." We didn't usually go to the dentist unless we already had a toothache and, since the drills were much bigger and scarier then, it was never a pleasant experience. Also, my tolerance for pain has always outweighed my fear of doctors and dentists, so a couple of times I just put up with the toothache until it was too late to save the tooth. They had to be pulled, and the empty spaces caused my teeth to shift. There was no money for braces, so that had to wait until I was an adult with a job of my own. I told the orthodontist that I was still a newlywed, and was not the least bit interested in wearing one of those awful-looking headgears to bed each night. He said he didn't think that would be necessary. He lied.

Or, maybe I don't like dentists because just about everything they put in my mouth causes me to gag to the point of barfing. Even the gas that's supposed to relax you made me barf once, when the dentist went off and forgot about me. So, as I said, not a fan. Anywho, my last couple of dentists said I probably grind my teeth at night. They encouraged me to get a night guard, but there was always some crown or root canal that had priority, and I just never got around to it. Finally, after completing a year-long implant procedure and a crown replacement, I caved to the pressure and told them to go ahead and make the dang night guard. Boy, was I ever pissed when they told me they could not reuse that full set of impressions they just took, and that I would have to undergo that whole process -- the biggest gagger there is -- all over again! My worst fear was that the night guard itself might cause me to gag, or be so irritating that it would keep me awake at night. What a relief it was to find that I could sleep through the night with it, right from the start.

A couple of days later, I realized I was clawing away at a very itchy torso, and discovered that it was covered in an angry red rash. I wracked my brain, but couldn't think of anything out of the ordinary that I had eaten, worn or touched. Other than that night guard. I quit wearing it until I finally got the rash cleared up, then started wearing it again in tiny increments. One hour? No problem. Two hours? No problem. Three hours? No problem. Whew! I woulda been ever so p.o.'d if I'd spent all that $$ and done all that gagging fer nothin'!

So this week I went back to wearing it all night. A couple of days later, I woke up with a rash. Arrgh! I'm allergic to the friggin' thing!!!!!