Know what I love most about blogging? The thing that keeps me at it every day and makes me wonder if I will ever be able to give it up? Finally having a voice! I have no ambitions about book deals or movie rights, or having my blog go viral and get thousands of hits per day. What really does it for me is that there are a few people in the world who finally know me. Really know me.
As I've mentioned before, I'm not the most articulate person in the world. I'm the girl who always forgot your name when she had to make introductions, even though she'd known you for years; the one whose voice got all quivery and whose eyes teared up when she tried to tell you about a cause she was passionate about, and who could never remember a single fact to back up her opinions, no matter how much she had read on the subject; the one who was always meek and quiet in the classroom, a very well-behaved girl, but who is still intimidated by teachers and authority figures to this very day; the one who hates discord and seems to avoid confrontation at all costs...well, except for here, on this blog. Here I am someone else altogether.
Here I can be myself. Speak my mind. Shake things up a bit. Let it all hang out. It's as if the moderator from that old 50's game show finally said "Will the real Becky T. Lane, please stand up!" Most exciting of all is the seed of an idea that reader Musing Egret planted for me in a recent comment. She mentioned "the legacy" that I have built up for my kids and grandkids, with all these stories of mine. I have often dreamed of finding a secret diary, hidden away somewhere, that belonged to my mother or grandmother when they were young. I would have given anything to have found such a treasure, for surely it would have opened a window into their hearts, and let me see a part of them that was never revealed to me.
So, in essence, that is what I am doing here. I'm hiding this diary of mine in a trunk, way back in a corner of the attic, for future little Lanes to stumble across after I am long gone. I have no wish to be remembered as a well-behaved lady. We all know that well-behaved women rarely make history. No, I'd much prefer it if they got a big laugh out of some of my stories, cried over others, then turned to one another and said "Wow! Granny Beck was a real doozie, wasn't she?"
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2 comments:
Whoa! I'm thrilled to see my name in 'print' and only want to reiterate: Make Copies!!
On a more serious note: My personality is similar to yours in the respect of hating confrontation; I'll usually just go silent and quietly withdraw. Has blogging resulted in a more fluent facility with verbiage?
I would love to master the skill of a quick witty retort (like my sibs) but, alas, I'm too earnest.
;-)
When I first started this I printed up every post and mailed it to all the older folks in the family in letter form, and kept one copy in a notebook. After they passed I gave up on that, but John does have it connected to some little automatic back-up gizmo. Hope that's doing the trick.
No, my brain still doesn't quite connect to my tongue. I'm great at coming up with witty retorts, but it's always two days after the fact.
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