THE TAPESTRY OF SHARED EXPERIENCE

We had a great time at our meet-up with Paula and Tim in Bastrop yesterday, for the secret Santa hand-off. If the only part of that town you have ever seen is the highway leading from I-10 to Austin, you have really been missing out. Next time slow down, and take the road less traveled.

Paula has been sorting through old photos recently, and mentioned some she found of our early Christmas get-togethers when we were pregnant and/or had brand new babies. It got me to thinkin', and I realized that the reason we have such a close bond is not only that she and I get along just as well as Tim

and John do. Even more important is this wondrous tapestry of shared experiences that we have woven together over the last thirty-five years. In fact, Paula is the one person, other than John, that I have shared more important life experiences with than anyone else in the world, including my mother and sisters!

When we first met we were both newlyweds living in Bahrain. Our husbands were roomies on an offshore platform, so we were left on our own in a foreign place, not speaking the language, for weeks at a time. If that's not a bonding experience for two young Texas girls, I don't know what is!

We all ended up in Houston after that, so we searched for jobs together, bought our first homes together, partied together, and dealt with Tim's cancer and my frequent miscarriages and related surgeries together. Because of the cancer and miscarriages, we both came to the conclusion that giving birth just wasn't in the cards for us, so we started wading through the adoption process together, then somehow wound up pregnant and giving birth to our two miracle babies together - the ultimate bonding experience! Unfortunately, both of our mothers were pretty absorbed in issues of their own at that time, and were unwilling or unable to play the doting grandma, and so we had no one to turn to for advice or assistance but each other. Well...there was a fantastic pediatrician, and one very wise sister-in-law as well, who had gone the Lamaze/La Leche League route herself.

And so it has continued for more than three decades now. We've shared everything from potty training to college searches and failing parents. The tables have turned a bit. Now Tim and I are the healthy ones, while Paula and John both have heart issues. I thank my lucky stars every day that we are able to support one another in this as well, without making it the focus of our lives, and still have a damn good time whenever we are together!