SUCKY CHOICES

Well, things are about to get a bit hairy back home in Dallas. As you know, my parents and my oldest sister combined their households a few years back. It worked out fairly well as long as Dad was still alive. He waited on Mom hand and foot all day, and did as much as he could to help Carolyn around the house. We never in a million years would have guessed that he'd be the first to go, and when he did, things went downhill fast.

The thing is, you really need to pay attention to people when they advise you about "creating a monster." From the day Dad met my mom, everyone kept trying to warn him. They all said "Bill, you're spoiling that girl. Better watch out, or someday you're gonna regret it!" Did he listen? No, he did not. So you see, it's not really Mom's fault that she became accustomed to having breakfast in bed, water brought to her when she was thirsty, "tea parties" prepared for her when she was hungry, things fetched for her when she didn't feel like getting up, and, well, you get the picture. Not only do people get used to being waited on, they also begin to expect it as their due. So, when Dad passed, Mom just assumed that my sister would become her lady-in-waiting, and it really didn't seem to phase her that Carolyn still needed to work full-time, in order to keep a roof over their heads, or that Carolyn had just had a knee replaced, then a hip, or that she deserved to have any kind of a personal life.

Eventually, it got to the point where my sister's health and sanity were at risk. We got help to come in and watch Mom during the day, but then she somehow got her days and nights mixed up, and took to wandering the house all night, and waking my sister in the middle of the night to demand food or to clean up an accident. Mom's health was deteriorating as well. There were days when she'd refuse to get out of bed or take any of her pills, and her doctors said there was nothing left they could do for her. So, we began the process of getting her approved for medicaid, to get more help for my sister, and to be prepared for the time when Mom would need to be moved elsewhere. To tell you the truth, we were all praying that she would just slip away peacefully, before we ever had to make that choice.

We just found out a couple of weeks ago that Mom qualifies for assisted living, but that it could be nine months or more before a place was available. The next thing we know, they are calling to say "We've got one now!" So, here we go. Wish us luck. Right now Mom seems to be looking forward to it. She has always loved to decorate, and is already busy planning how she is going to fix up her little apartment. But if we start getting pitiful calls in the night, once she's moved in, saying "Please, please, come get me!", I just don't know what we'll do.