FILLING THE EMPTY SPACES

I am beginning to understand why so many women pressure their adult offspring to hurry and produce grandchildren. (Never fear, my darlings! I don't intend to be one of them.) Fortunately for all of us, I stumbled into creativity and passion just in the nick of time. Now I am reveling in the opportunities for pursuing these passions. I absolutely adore having so much time to myself, and the freedom to choose how I spend it. And yet, I still feel pangs when I think about what I have left behind me, for I also adored being a mother, and I was pretty darned good at it! (how's that for humble?)

Now, just when my youngest is about to graduate from college, and I should be ecstatic about his soon-to-be independence, I had to go and discover all those mommy-bloggers. Talk about feeling torn! I am so jealous that I didn't have the outlet of blogging when I was raising my kids, especially when we were living in Indonesia (can you believe I couldn't even e-mail home in the early 90's?)

I usually tell people that I didn't awaken to my creativity until my mid-40's, after reading Simple Abundance and The Artist's Way, but that's not completely true. It was in Indonesia that the first seeds were planted. I was away from parental advice and censure, and finally had a bit of domestic help, some free time and a little discretionary income, but had nowhere to go and nothing to spend it on! The kids were my passion then, and as they say, "necessity is the mother of invention." I had no choice but to get creative! I had kids to entertain, costumes to create, birthday parties to throw, meals to cook, holidays to celebrate... And, I had to do it all with the barest minimum of supplies, in a climate of never-ending sameness. So, when I read blogs like Soulemama, Beauty that Moves, Redneck Mother and Blue Yonder, I can't help but feel nostalgic. They are now living what was my life and passion for many years, but now it's all over, and I did a lousy job of recording it!

Scary thought: what if I had ended up like so many other women out there? What if I had become so caught up in raising the kids that I had never even got around to discovering my authentic self, figuring out what makes me happy, or opening up to my creativity and passions? Well, I think it's safe to say that, it's easy to see why there are so many TV shows that feature nutty mother-in-laws like the one on Everybody Loves Raymond. I think there are too many women out there who ended up feeling like empty shells, once their last chick flew the coop, and they are desperately waiting for someone or something to fill them up again. They are thinking that perhaps grandchildren would do the trick.

I say, "Don't count on it!" Learn to fill yourself up, instead. Of course, there's no harm in my keeping a folder full of crafty kid ideas, is there? Ideas that I've gleaned from my favorite Mommy-Bloggers. It never hurts to be prepared, right? I'm just saying, if and when I do have grandkids, and if and when they do come to visit, we're gonna have some kind of fun!!!