GOOD LIFE ENTERTAINING

If you were to consult my husband, he would probably tell you that I suffer from a split personality disorder when it comes to housekeeping and entertaining. Or at least, I used to. I've been working very hard at trying to overcome it, to blend my Jekyl and Hyde into one, more balanced, entity.

Have you ever been to someone's house where they had just about killed themselves to put on a good show for you, with perfect food and table settings, beautiful decor, fresh cut flowers, and sparkling crystal? But, for some reason, you felt rather uncomfortable? Instead of trying to put you at ease and make you feel welcomed, you got the distinct impression that this hostess would actually prefer to have velvet ropes on every portal, and plastic runners on the floor. And, if she could get away with it, she would probably greet you at the door, rush you along the runner, pausing at each doorway just long enough for you to ooh and aah, and tell her how amazing she was, then she'd whisk you right back out the door. Well, if I were going to be completely honest with you, I would have to admit to having just the tiniest bit of this Martha-ness in me. I can't help it - it's the way I was raised!

On the other hand, I am also a firm believer that husbands and children deserve to feel comfortable in their own homes, and shouldn't be nagged from dawn until dusk, in order to keep it looking as if no one were actually living there. Do you see the problem here? I could be perfectly laid back for weeks at a time, but as soon as I found out company was coming, I'd go berserk, wanting everything to be picture perfect. In fact, I always said that I had to entertain at least once a month, because that was the only way my house ever got really clean.

I don't want to be that person anymore. It isn't a very balanced way to live, and the good life is all about balance, isn't it? I'm looking for a routine where I have time for writing, time to volunteer, time to exercise, and time to read and knit, but where the house stays picked up enough that I wouldn't mind someone dropping in unexpectedly. I no longer need it to look like it's ready for a photo shoot. I just want it to be orderly, calm and welcoming. That's difficult to maintain if you have too much stuff, or piles of books and magazines everywhere. So, #1 on my to-do list has been to let most of my magazine subscriptions lapse, and to get back into the habit of going to the library more, and the bookstore less. An added bonus is that my money lasts a whole lot longer this way. #2 on my list is to make certain things a daily habit, and not put them off until I know company's coming. #3, and by far the most important, is that now, whenever I invite guests into my home, I make a concentrated effort to remember that it's not about me. It's about them!