SICK HUMOR (4/06)

A cool front blew in Friday night, and brought us some glorious weather. Saturday we got up and drove down the road to try a new breakfast joint we had discovered - the Hays City Cafe. It's actually a little filling station/grocery store, with a small lunch-counter style cafe in the back. They serve everything from your traditional bacon and eggs, to chocolate chip pancakes, breakfast tacos, and migas. For you Yankees, migas is a Tex-Mex specialty that involves eggs scrambled with bits of corn tortillas, chilies and cheese, and served with a good dollop of spicy salsa. I have always found them to be mighty tasty, but these at Hays City were outstanding! I think I will have to come back and try this joint for lunch some time. I hear they do a mean tortilla soup.

By the time we got back to the house, Lex was up and ready to go exercise with me. John dropped us off at the gym, then headed over to the hardware store to get supplies for his "project of the day" - installing a reverse osmosis system on our kitchen sink. I can't remember where I read it, but some witty person was describing how the well water here is so hard, it can stand up on its own, but the water softeners leave it tasting like the Dead Sea. She was right, ergo the R.O. system. John came back to fetch us, and after a quick stop to sign the Kinky Friedman for governor petition, we headed home.

Almost as soon as John got started on his project, he discovered something else he would be needing, so he headed back to the hardware store. I got cleaned up and did some writing, then Lex and I decided it had been way too long since we had been to a good chick flick together, so we headed over to San Marcos to see the new one where Antonio Banderas teaches inner-city kids to tango. Oooh Mamma, sign me up for lessons! By the time we left the house, John was already heading out for trip number three to the hardware store.

When we returned, we were relieved to find him still in one piece, with only a few nicks and cuts, and having made only one more trip to the hardware store. He was quite proud of his accomplishments. Turning to me with a grin and a twinkle, he said "I'm kind of surprised you were willing to leave me here alone, working on a project." I glanced sideways at Lex, then we both started laughing. "Funny you should mention that" I replied. "As we turned into the neighborhood, I suddenly felt myself tensing up, and started thinking that maybe the movie wasn't such a good idea after all. Apparently Alexis was having similar thoughts, because just about that time, we spotted you up by the garage. We both let out a sigh of relief, and Lex said 'Well, at least he's still alive!' " Poor baby, I think we hurt his feelings, but after a while he started grinning mischievously. He said "Too bad I didn't think of it in time, or I could have been laying there spread-eagle on the driveway when you drove up." I turned to him in fury and said "John Lane, if you ever pull a stunt like that on me, you probably will be dead, 'cause I just might murder you myself! That is not even one bit funny!" Apparently he didn't agree with me, because he was still smirking as he turned and sauntered off.