FIGURING THINGS OUT: THE PATH TO MINDFULNESS

I wasn't always the upbeat person you've come to know here on this blog -- the one who wakes up excited almost every day. Far from it, in fact. As I kid I spent a whole lot of time worrying about those nasty "what ifs", and had trouble sleeping because of nightmares. What if our house burned down? What if a tornado blew it away? What if the boogey man got me? By the time I outgrew those, I'd glommed onto the instability of my father's job. I replaced my previous obsessions with obsessing about money, and had taken on an attitude of "poor me." How could I get some decent school clothes? How was I ever going to afford college? Somewhere along the line, however, my attitude began to undergo a subtle but steady shift, and I think books had a lot to do with it. I had always admired the strong female characters who didn't just "let" shit happen to them, so I guess I decided to become one. I picked up the reins to my life. The day I turned sixteen I got a job at the local fabric store, started making my own clothes, and put every penny I could in the bank for college. I ended up deciding to major in Clothing, Textiles and Fashion Merchandising, not because I loved sewing all that much, or was even very good at it, but because I had finally found my first real creative outlet. Creating something with my own two hands, something that had started as a mere picture in my head? Watching it come to life before me? Well, that was the closest I'd ever got to sheer bliss and being completely in the moment -- to being so focused on the here and now that you are oblivious to everything else.

Over time I learned not to watch those news shows on TV -- the ones whose sole purpose is to get us obsessing about all those "what ifs", and I spent a lot of time reading books that might give me clues to living in a simpler, happier, more sustainable manner -- one that would satisfy my strong vein of common sense. Books like The Good Life, by Helen and Scott Nearing, and A Reasonable Life, by Ferenc Mate'.

Julia Cameron's book, The Artist's Way, taught me worlds more about unlocking/unblocking one's creativity, about being in the moment, and about how to make it happen, instead of just sitting there twiddling one's thumbs, a-wishin' and a-hopin'.

I never completely dropped the "poor me" attitude, however, until this book came out, for it's the one that finally opened my eyes to gratitude.

We'll talk more about creativity, gratitude, and mindfulness in the coming week, and about how they are interconnected, but in the meantime, I'm curious. What path did you take? Who, or what, helped herd you along towards being here?