THE GIZMO

Not long ago we were strolling the evening street market down on S. Congress, when one of the booth vendors approached my husband with this gizmo in her hands. "Do you mind if I demonstrate this for you Sir?" Obviously, she can spot a patsy from halfway down the block. Unlike me, no matter how many times that irritating person at the kiosk in the mall says "Can I ask you a question Sir?", he always smiles and answers "Sure, why not?" Of course, he had no idea what he was letting himself in for this time.

What the lady held in her hands was a small, tightly-coiled spring, with handles on either end. As she got closer to DH, she bent it into a U-shape, then started aiming it towards his ear. Before he could even say "Woah, hold on there!", she had touched it to his ear, straightened it, then rolled into a backwards-facing U. Voila! No more ear tuft. Lex and I nearly wet our pants, we were laughing so hard at the expression on his face, but then the lady turned towards me.

"What about you Madam?" she asks, as she guides it towards my upper lip. "Sorry, you're wasting your time. I don't have a mous...YIKES! What was that?" Suddenly, I'm not the one who is bent over laughing. Well, just because it's blonde, I suppose, doesn't mean it isn't there. "How much did you say that was?"