IT'S A MATTER OF VOICE

I fear I suffer from MPD - Multiple Personality Disorder. I've been noticing for some time now that being around certain kinds of people can cause my personality to change completely. Take that guy at the airport Monday. Almost every time we are on a plane or in a restaurant, there is one person nearby who just loves the sound of their own voice. They don't converse with their companions, they orate. Why is it that they are invariably the ones with the strongest voices, that carry so well you just can't escape them? I am usually a very calm, laid back kind of gal, but as I sit there, trapped, being forced to listen to their non-stop spiel for hours on end, I can actually feel red hot anger bubbling up inside of me - something akin to road rage, I suppose.

Something similar happens in almost every women's group I have ever belonged to. There is always one woman I call "The Authority". She is the end all, know all on any given subject, so that no matter what is being discussed, she will always get the final word. She also tends to correct what others say, often embarrassing them and making them look or feel rather stupid. This type either brings out the stubborn, mule-headed child in me, or causes me to be snide and sarcastic behind her back. Or both. I really hate becoming that person.

I am just now beginning to understand why these two types bring out the very worst in me. I think it's because they take away one's voice. I grew up in a household where children were to be seen and not heard. When we got older, we were allowed to voice an opinion, but only so long as it agreed with the official family opinion. If you dared to think for yourself, or question, or speak your own mind, though, well, you'd best be prepared for the storm of ridicule that was sure to rain down on you. I learned from an early age just to keep my damn mouth shut. Most of the time, anyway. I also have an abiding sensitivity to de-structive criticism.

It was only in recent years, when I finally put pen to paper, and fingers to keyboard, that I managed to find a voice. Guess I'm still feeling kind of protective towards it. You can try and take it away from me, if you dare. But I'm warnin' ya. Be prepared to face off with Becky The Bitch, if you do!