In case you haven't noticed, life isn't always fair. Those who don't want babies frequently wind up pregnant, while couples who long for children, and would be excellent parents, are barren. The lives of people with so much to give are often cut short, while those who do nothing but take, take, take, seem to linger on forever. Or, perhaps a wife is the caboose to her husband's engine for years and years, following wherever he leads, doing whatever it takes to keep his career on track so that his star will shine, then at long last it is her turn. The kids are grown, his career has arced, and it is time for her to spread her wings and soar. Then, just as she is ready to take off, he has a major stroke or turns up with cancer, and she clips her wings to become his caretaker, or, even worse, she looses her will to soar, for there is no one left to share it with.
Sometimes, shit just happens, and there is nothing one could have done to prevent it. I think I could probably deal with that. Then, on the other hand, there are guys like my father-in-law. There was so much he could have done to prevent the train-wreck that their lives became. He could have allowed a fruit or vegetable to pass his lips once in a while. He could have got up out of his lounge chair and got a little exercise now and then (sorry guys, riding in a golf cart doesn't count!). He could have tried to quit smoking along with his wife, when she had her heart attack and gave it up cold turkey. He could have taken his blood pressure medicine, even if it did interfere with his sex life. He could have admitted that he was having strange "episodes", instead of doing everything he could to hide them from us. After he finally had a stroke that was too huge to hide, he could have cooperated with his physical therapists, instead of raising so much hell that they kicked him out of rehab, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera...
Yep, that George was a bitter pill to swallow. After two or three years of fighting to convince him that something was seriously wrong and he had to go see a doctor, and a couple more years trying to keep him from wandering off or getting behind the wheel of a car, then another five or six years of watching Theda have every bit of life sucked out of her, as she stifled her dreams in order to stay home and care for the hateful, helpless invalid he had become, it was all but impossible to remember the wonderfully kind, talented and generous man he had once been.
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5 comments:
Yikes, I know who I'm not asking to write my eulogy!
Ya know, you're probably right. Especially if you're really hard-headed and refuse to do anything the doctors tell you to do! But FIL didn't pass-away recently - it took me years and years to get the gumption to write about what he put MIL through (she's been gone for years now, too).
Wow...I'm going to the doctor this week, I promise. If he didn't just pass away, what set you off like that? Did something else happen?
I think about my wonderful Dad - active, great attitude, healthy diet, didn't smoke - who died suddenly at 73 after doing all the right things. Sometimes, I can't help but think that the whole thing is just one big crapshoot.
No, nothing recent set me off. I wrote that a while back. I'm stuck in Dallas for two weeks, using my sister's computer, with no access to my photos, etc. So I'm digging back through my journal, looking for stuff to blog. I figure it doesn't hurt to remind people that they aren't just hurting themselves when they abuse their health - it's their loved ones who are going to suffer and pay. My husband has a hard drinking and smoking buddy, who always says he hopes to just barely manage to come sliding under St. Peter's Gate, yelling "Yee-hah, what a ride!", but it's much more likely he will end up spending several years strapped in a wheel chair wearing diapers. Not my idea of the good life!
Sorry for bumming you out guys. I promise to do something more chipper, next post!
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