Almost every time I have gone home to visit, over the last 25 years, my mother has whipped out this photo and said "You were so pretty with your hair like that." What she really means is, "I hate the way you wear your hair now. It isn't normal for a woman your age." She doesn't really care that I had to spend hours with a blow-drier every morning to fight down my natural curls. All that matters to her is that I fit in with her ideal image.
Last time I was there, she did it again. Finally, I just looked at her and said "Mom, do you know that every time I meet someone new, they always tell me how lucky I am to have all this wonderful, thick, curly hair?" "They do?" she asked, looking shocked. "In fact, at least once a week, someone tells me how jealous they are, and that they would give anything to have hair like this. Now tell me, why on earth would I want to purposely hack it all off, just so I can look like every single other middle-age woman?"
I wasted my entire youth trying to "fit in", and hating my hair because it wouldn't allow that. I am just so damn happy to have grown beyond that finally. My only goal now is to become the wonderfully unique person that God, in all his wisdom, created me to be. I think he knew exactly what he was doing when he gave me this hair, for it balances out my features. Not only that, I hate having to look exactly the same, day in and day out. One of my great delights is being able to play with it, and arrange it to suit my mood. So I'm warning you right now - if you too think I was much prettier with it short and smooth? Well, I'm really not interested in hearing about it!
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7 comments:
Isn't it wonderful to get to the point in your life when you stop worrying so much about what other people think?! It's so freeing to feel confident enough just to BE yourself. What a great affirmation this is. Thank you!
I think she just likes that picture because you two practically had the same haircut back then. The eighties were evil! Curly hair is the best, and it's only fair to give strangers a visual warning first that we lane girls aren't quite normal anyway.
Thanks Linda! From reading your blog, it sounds like our hair is the exact same color - started out blonde but went and turned brown on us when we weren't looking? I started adding highlights as a teen, but now nature is adding its own (think grey), so I may be able to give up the purchased variety before long!
Hello darling daughter - did I ever tell you how much I adore your hair, in every style and color that you have ever chosen? And not just because it's curly like mine, but because it's so spunky, just like you!
I spent years trying to force my hair to look just so--think the "That Girl" flip.
But I have naturally curly hair that goes its own way. Without a skilled stylist and massive amounts of product, the flip ain't happenin' with ease.
Once I started following my hair's lead in the mirror and in life, things got better.
My son is a cottony towhead. Girls will swoon. Mark my words...
It just frees up so much energy when we stop worrying about hair and such, doesn't it? As I mentioned to Linda in her hair post, my daughters tell me, "Own it, Mom!"
Hey Ms. Price, I spotted those lovely tresses right away in one of your little pics, and OMG Joanne, I love that - Own it Mom! Yes, I finally own my hair, and it feels great! What's bizarre is that my mom has spent her entire life applying perms to her bone straight hair, while at the same time urging us to get our curls under control.
In college, I lay my head on an ironing board and tried to press my waves out. This is such a great post because it reminds me of that and every other weird thing I've done with my hair. I would like to use it on MidLifeBloggers.com
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