EXILE, DAY 5

I have always heard that you cannot become a good writer until you are willing to write about the difficult and embarassing parts of your life, too. For me, that would be my parents. Up until now, I have never been willing or able to deal with them. I loved them, and they loved me. There was no doubt in my mind about that. However, they also drove me crazy, and you could never understand who I am today without knowing about them, for they were the force that shaped me. I always thought I would wait until after they were both gone before turning over an honesty leaf, but since there is absolutely no chance that Mom will ever read this blog, and I think I can trust all of you not to intentionally hurt her by sharing any of this with her, I am going to be brave. . .

On our way to Prima Care, Mom changed her mind. She was afraid they wouldn't have the proper equipment to take care of her, and wanted to go to the ER instead. She has been to the ER about a hundred times, and she knows the drill by heart, as do we all. In spite of all that, she has never stopped believing that she is somehow more special than anyone else who might also be waiting there, that everyone would recognize that fact this time, and then they would bend over backwards to accomodate her. She was sadly disappointed yet again. The good news is that, after about 5 hrs.of Mom pitching hissy fits because they weren't taking her right in, and saying nasty things about everyone in the waiting room, in a very loud voice, they finally told us that it was nothing more than a sprain. Boy, was she disappointed.

Unfortunately, Mom loves a sympathetic audience, and with each new person who came up to ask her questions, her story got bigger and better. She is completely unable to discern what is appropos to this specific event, and what is totally unrelated, so she told them everything that's ever happened to her, and made it sound like it was all part of this one falling incident. When they asked if she had any head pain, she said "Yes, I have EXCRUCIATING headaches!" Finally I said "Woah, Mom. Stop a minute! You have to clarify that, and explain that you've had those headaches for years, and not as a result of this fall!" She said "But these are new headaches! They're different!"

As a result, after the doctor explained that the shoulder was no biggey, she continued with "But we are really concerned about why she is still falling and having these headaches, even after they took her off the coumadin, so I'm ordering brain scans, blood work, urine work... She could have bleeding in her brain from the coumadin, or a deadly bladder infection, or.... " And this was at 6:00, when we'd already been there 5 hours and thought we were about to go home. Mom and I both started crying. She, just because she was tired and hungry. Me, because I now had visions of them keeping her overnight, just when I'm supposed to be fetching Carolyn home from the hospital. I finally begged "Couldn't we please go home and have her regular physician run these tests?" The doctor was not happy about this decision, but finally agreed, after making me sign papers saying I am removing her from the hospital against their recommendation, and I have sworn that I would get the testing done elsewhere.

I am probably going to be arrested for elder abuse, but right now, I really don't care! Mom had pitched a fit in the ER about needing to leave because she was diabetic and needed her dinner and her medicine and her shots right this instant!, but then got pissed with me because I wouldn't go out of my way to stop and get her some apricot fried pies on the way home. Also, she asked "Did you write that doctor's name down? I really liked her. She's not like my regular doctor. She paid attention to what I was telling her. I want to come back to her for all my tests." She just doesn't believe me when I tell her that she will have to wait in line with all the peons for another 10 or 12 hours if she does.

P.S. This morning she hasn't mentioned a word about shoulder pain or having a bad night because of it. It's almost as if it never happened. No, now she has zeroed in on something new - the excruciating head pains that the nice ER doctor was so concerned about, and what tragic malady might be causing them!