Once I started transferring journal to blog, new story writing more or less came to a standstill. Guess I'd better get crackin'! Here's one from January:
Today's the big day! In a couple of hours I will head over to Austin to attend Story Circle Network's Stories From the Heart: Women's National Memoir Conference. I vacillate between feeling pumped and confident, and wondering "What the hell was I thinking?" One minute I'm looking through all of my stories, trying to decide which one to read at the open mic event (surely if that editor from University of Texas Press heard it, she would offer me a book contract on the spot, right?). The next minute I'm convinced that all of my stories are total crap, and if I dared to read one aloud, I'd most probably get laughed out of the conference!
I really don't know where to begin, when it comes to describing the weekend I've just experienced. To say that I am feeling overwhelmed right now, would be a huge understatement. Everything I have done over the past three days has been completely out of character for me, and has stretched my comfort zone to its outermost limits: signing up to go to a conference solo, not knowing a single person there; agreeing to room with a total stranger; posting some of my writing on their story wall (with my photo on it, no less!) as soon as I arrived, for all the world to see; walking up to tables of women in the restaurant, who already seemed to know each other, and brazenly inviting myself to join them; standing up to read one of my stories at the open mic session, and feeling good about it!; baring my soul at a special interest dinner, where we talked about writing as a form of healing; chanting and getting in touch with my inner goddess..... the list could go on for pages. Right now, everything I learned is a massive swirling jumble in my head, waiting to be sorted out and filed away, but three things are perfectly clear. First, I am a much braver person than I ever gave myself credit for. Second, that's a damn good thing, because writing is not for the faint of heart. In the words of Edna St. Vincent Millay, "A person who publishes a book appears willfully in public eye with his pants down." Last, and most important, I learned that the world is full of amazing women, and every single one of them has a story to tell!
Today's the big day! In a couple of hours I will head over to Austin to attend Story Circle Network's Stories From the Heart: Women's National Memoir Conference. I vacillate between feeling pumped and confident, and wondering "What the hell was I thinking?" One minute I'm looking through all of my stories, trying to decide which one to read at the open mic event (surely if that editor from University of Texas Press heard it, she would offer me a book contract on the spot, right?). The next minute I'm convinced that all of my stories are total crap, and if I dared to read one aloud, I'd most probably get laughed out of the conference!
* * * * *
I really don't know where to begin, when it comes to describing the weekend I've just experienced. To say that I am feeling overwhelmed right now, would be a huge understatement. Everything I have done over the past three days has been completely out of character for me, and has stretched my comfort zone to its outermost limits: signing up to go to a conference solo, not knowing a single person there; agreeing to room with a total stranger; posting some of my writing on their story wall (with my photo on it, no less!) as soon as I arrived, for all the world to see; walking up to tables of women in the restaurant, who already seemed to know each other, and brazenly inviting myself to join them; standing up to read one of my stories at the open mic session, and feeling good about it!; baring my soul at a special interest dinner, where we talked about writing as a form of healing; chanting and getting in touch with my inner goddess..... the list could go on for pages. Right now, everything I learned is a massive swirling jumble in my head, waiting to be sorted out and filed away, but three things are perfectly clear. First, I am a much braver person than I ever gave myself credit for. Second, that's a damn good thing, because writing is not for the faint of heart. In the words of Edna St. Vincent Millay, "A person who publishes a book appears willfully in public eye with his pants down." Last, and most important, I learned that the world is full of amazing women, and every single one of them has a story to tell!
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