Friday, January 11, 2013

THE MONSTERS WE CREATE


I miss Dear Abby. We no longer get any papers other than the once-a-week Wimberley View, and for the most part, I don't miss them. You can waste a lot of time reading a fat daily newspaper cover to cover, and usually end up feeling downright depressed. But, I do miss my crosswords, and I really, really miss Dear Abby.

I splurged and grabbed an Austin paper out of the machine when we went out to breakfast not long ago, skipped over the front page, and went straight for Abby. As usual, she had received an interesting letter that got me to thinkin'. The writer opened the letter by saying "I realize we created these monsters, but...", and went on to complain about her adult children, who had no interest in their parents except when they wanted a handout. I felt so grateful that my kids weren't like that at all, and always seemed happy to spend time with us, often at their own suggestion. It did, however, remind me of others I knew. My parents for instance.

My dad was so crazy in love with my mom in the early days that he spoiled her rotten. It made him feel good to shower her with gifts and do stuff for her, like fetching her wrap whenever she felt chilly. Years later, when it had got to the point where she wouldn't walk across the room to get herself a drink of water, always expecting someone else to get it for her, he was often reminded of their courtship days, when his stepfather was fond of saying "Son, you better watch out there, or you're gonna create a monster!"

It also got me to thinking about all the women I know who did the same kinds of things for their hubbies when they were newlyweds -- picking up their trail of dirty clothes and discarded shoes from around the house, bringing them snacks and beverages as the sat on the sofa watching sports -- then resented the hell out of it ten or twenty years later. It reminded me of many of our friends who went out of their way to help when that first grandchild came along, then were a bit shocked later when it was just assumed that they would be free to babysit at the drop of a hat, and that they couldn't possibly have a life of their own at their advanced age, or anything better to do with their time.

Anywho, I can't help but wonder now just what monsters I did create, and what will most likely come back to bite me in the butt sooner or later.

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