ODE TO THEDA

In one of the mid-life blogs I read recently, several women were discussing how different things are now for we women, compared to how they were for our mothers at this age. When these women tried to recall just what their own moms were doing in their 50's, they came to the conclusion that mostly, they sat. When the last child left the nest, they pulled out a chair, and that was that.

Not so with my Mother-in-law. By the time I met her, Theda was well on her way to being quite a character. She was an artist, and took great delight in being somewhat eccentric. As we grow older, we tend to lose our inhibitions, so occasionally, Theda could be a bit embarrassing. I did not particularly enjoy shopping with her. Before she had children, she was a buyer for a department store. That was back in the days when they still believed in pampering their customers. One day I was with Theda when she needed to pick up a catalog order from a store in the mall. The clerk informed her that the orders were in alphabetized bins around the corner, and she should go help herself. "I most certainly will not!" she replied. "What the heck are they paying you for? To stand there and look silly?"

Nonetheless, I loved and admired her. Her life was full of hardships, but you'd never know it. When she was in her 80's, had already had heart attacks and by-pass surgery, and was caring for her invalid husband at home, she still faced each day with gusto. She painted, taught herself to carve wood, volunteered at Hospice, her church, and the art museum, taught people to read, and went to water aerobics several times per week. No, she definitely was not sitting.

When I was rummaging through old photos, looking for something to use in my next art project, I came across several of Theda as a young woman. I wish I had known her then. She grew up in New Mexico, but her parents divorced when she was young. She ended up having a whole slew of siblings, half-siblings, and step-siblings. Before remarrying, Theda's mom took her four kids and homesteaded a piece of property for a friend. Theda said they were dirt poor, but didn't know it, because her mom was so creative and could make something out of nothing.

Life could not have been easy for Theda, being the oldest of 10 or 12 kids, but you'd never know it from looking at her photos. In every last one of them, she has a huge grin on her face, and appears to be having the time of her life - except in those where she has tucked a flower behind her ear and is striking a movie star pose. She was quite exotic looking, perhaps because of her Native American ancestry, and it's no wonder George fell head over heels the first time he saw her, and married her about 6 weeks later! Yep, that Theda Jane was a spunky gal, from start to finish.