THAT GIRL IN THE PHOTO

I adore that girl - the one in yesterday's photo. The one who manages to find something to feel giddy about almost every single day. I lost her for a good long while, but ever since I rediscovered her, I've gone out of my way to make sure she doesn't stray again.

There was a discussion going on, over at Down-To-Earth yesterday, that reminded me of what it was like when my friend in the picture went M.I.A. It brought back some guilt- and resentment-laden memories of a time when I had so much, and tried so hard, but still felt that something was missing. It wasn't until I read the book Simple Abundance, by Sarah ban Breathnach, that I realized what the missing piece was. Me!

Like so many other young wives and mothers, I'd got so caught up in doing what everyone else thought I should do, and being who everyone else thought I should be, that I just forgot to pay any attention whatsoever to that girl in the photo. I guess she got tired of being ignored, cuz one day I finally looked up, and she was gone. Splitsville.

I hadn't a clue how to find her and lure her back, so you can imagine how happy I was to discover there were two great books - first, Simple Abundance, then, The Artist's Way, by Julia Cameron - that gave me step-by-step instructions for tracking her down and reconnecting. Eventually, we were reunited, and not long after, I went back to school to study horticulture. At last! I finally had something to talk to my family about over dinner, other than the chores and errands I had accomplished. They seemed to get quite a kick out of my tales of trying to drive a bobcat for the first time, and of having to climb a huge tree with a mischievous teenager in charge of the rope to my safety harness.

One day I was at my drawing table out in the sun room, working on a garden design that I was very excited about. When John came up behind me to watch, I launched into a description of the vision I had in my head. When I glanced up over my shoulder to ask him something, I caught a glimpse of a look on his face that I hadn't seen for quite some time - pure, unadulterated love. If only I'd known. All this time? He'd been missing that girl in the photo every bit as much as me.